I thought this would get easier but it hasn't, it just gets different. I wish you were here every day to guide us. I miss your laugh and your smile, you sarcasm and your sweetness, your infinite patience and generosity. I dream about you when I can sleep and I think of you all day. I wish you were home right now so you could tell me that you want to cook this Thursday but you want to cook ham, not turkey and I'd show up with fresh veggies and hide your canned ones. Later you'd ask me to get you a Diet Coke and then get mad when I brought you water. And I'd sit on your lap like I was still a little girl and give you a big hug and tell you how much I love you and we'd both talk about how we should visit more often.